Thursday, May 19, 2022

My Bro & My Sis: The Aftermath & Mo "No Pressure"

On one level, we had a great time. We drank heavy (in terms of order not volume) Mark his bone dry Kettle, my little sis kettle & soda and I had a Ketel Rocks & later a coffee drink with both Baileys & Grand Marnier, two brands I was proud to sell. But I did love my brands including all the aforementioned, my scotch was Johnnie Walker (all flavors) my Canadian was both Crown Royale & Seagram's V.O. My bourbon was Bulleit. I just tossed a signed bottle. Not that it was worth anything - he signed (Tom Bulleit - founder) a million of them. My wife at the time was a bourbon drinker, so I let her drink it, I replaced it with Pepsi. Besides Ketel, I did sell Smirnoff (bestseller on the planet and the US.) We also had Ciroc, Belvedere and Chopin. My gin was Tangueray. A had a zillion single malts but of all whiskey? Johnnie Walker Blue sales thrilled me. Bernard Arnault owns the 2/3 of Moet Hennessy that Diego does not. Selling expensive Hennessy was special, too.

Back to our night: Mark decided now eight years past my dad's death to criticize both my sister's and my reaction to the call that my father would be dead within the hour. Mark thought he should be there and apparently thought my sis & I should have too. My sister abba dabba'd so I defended her. Then myself. I said, you wanted to be there. I had seen him Friday. He let me know it was goodbye. I drove his bestie from high school, college and his business partner forty or fifty years. This call was on (the next day) Saturday. I was two hours away. I knew he could not talk and was in pain and would be out of it. But Mark signed on when he moved him from Enfield where I owned a home, at the time, and was within 45 minutes or so to my sister. So he was with my dad because he wanted to be.

When Mark had tried to dictate our visits and said he'd take him and either he or his wife would be with him every day. I couldn't do that to either Kathy or what I thought was my marriage at the time. (I should never have been with her, let alone married) So off to Boston my Dad went. He was there eight moths, I'd say. Either Mark, but more often his wife, was there every day. I had said my goodbyes, and my dad suffered fairly weird dementia. 

Fortunately, Mark saw the error of his ways and issued a long text on how much he loves us, and he was so wrong to project his wishes on anybody else. And all these years later. But he ended by saying we'd do it next year in Phoenix. All in all, very enlightened for him. So unlike before the text besides hungover, I was pissed. But his text made it all go away, and I'm left positive that my brother and sister took the time and expense to treat me to Fillet Mignon with lobster tails.

All in all, I'm very lucky. We'll see who stays in touch. But I communicate at least weekly, one way or the other with each of them separately. I found out last night that they seldom spoke. But they vowed to improve it. So the ups were pretty high. Except for that woman who now says "I HAVE A GIFT"...

I said, "You shouldn't have", and I meant it. She still has zero grasp of pressure. I think by any rational person measurement it's pressure. She does everything but call. Oops. Swear to god my cell is ringing. It is her. Her last ext to me, that went unanswered (now keep in mind I have already told her that I was not feeling well enough for a gift or a visit or whatever.) She had already texted me to call if I felt like talking. I had not called. Just checked her message, "Checking in. I could come ve and help you pack". See, packing is all I plan to do. I don't need help, fortunately I had plenty right up through yesterday. My last town to dump pick up day. A week before I moved. Good timing. I'm mostly adding things to all sides, so when a totally different moving crew in Phoenix ask "where does this box go?" I can read it from across the room. I've never moved without a partner before. Don't get me wrong, Ben and Maria totally packed a lot of stuff to enable Maria to stage my home. She did an amazing job. The offer came on day three.  But I've shared that, already. 

But that's my last farewell, save a chance Bill on Monday. I did say yes & if he remembers (he's flying back from a wedding in Wisconsin, so I doubt it) We had an idea to include him in the 2022 picture. If we that, then we will have a last sign-off. If Bill & I start alone & end alone (on the QT) who cares? Since I cannot locate the sign-off from that night, Bill & I would be worth doing. But he doesn't even know I'm thinking about it. I'll see if I hear again. But if no one needs to see me but my 80-year-old lady neighbor who is my friend from across the street. I want to give her my phone number. That kind of stuff. No texts or phone for over an hour now.

I hope my life is more exciting once I move. Cuz, then I'll set boundaries. How's that working for me so far?





  1. YEARS after my dad's death, my kid sister (apropos to nothing) told me she "could never forgive" seeing me laugh at his wake. Um, excuse me? Who are you, the Martha Stewart of Mourning? Btw, the reason I was so happy is this: as my dad lie dying, we had layoffs at work. I was so awesomely touched to see my coworkers show up, en masse, to comfort me the day after they'd been let go. Anyway, parts of this post did give PTSD. Parents, siblings, family ... it's all so complicated, isn't it?

    I bet you'll be happy when this move is in your rearview mirror and you're in your new home. It must be weird to be in this netherworld -- not really here, not yet there.

    PS Did you see Rizz get thrown out on Thursday? He NEVER argues with umpires. But there he was, the vein in his neck visible on TV! It had to be a terrible call to get him that worked up!

    1. Riz is just the best. He impacts the game in ways the scorecard can't tell...

  2. Can we just call her your girlfriend??? I bet she is freaking you out.
    I am so sorry your brother was upset, but I am glad it all worked out. I hope they do some and see you.

  3. She tracked me down ar a breakfast place. We said goodbye. She is nuts. I nmust be, tii,