Sunday, September 17, 2023

Bud's Laws - new updated from the orginal 50 - we close in on 100



Bud's Laws Original Master as of 9/16/2023 PLEASE NOTE: I am just a compiler of laws, some I modify and a very few I have authored. No authorship is claimed here.

1. History does not repeat itself. Historians merely repeat each other.
2. If it’s any good at all, they will discontinue it.
3. People who love sausage and respect the law, should never watch either being made.
4. The one-day you’d sell your soul for something, souls are a glut.
5. Never get into a fight with an ugly person. They have nothing to lose.
6. Everybody lies. It’s okay, though, because nobody listens.
7. When the going gets tough, everybody leaves.
8. Never attribute to malice what could more easily be explained by stupidity.
9. If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.
10. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
11. It is easier to beg forgiveness than get permission.
12. If you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
13. How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you are.
14. By the time you get to the point where ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
15. Borrow from pessimists. They never expect it back.
16. He who hesitates is probably right.
17. Generalizations are always false, including this one.
18. Few women admit their age. Fewer men act it.
19. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No sense being a fool about it.
20. Never delay the end of a meeting or the beginning of a happy hour.
21. If it were not for the last minute, nothing would get done at all.
22. Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn’t have to do it himself.
23. No problem is too big, too complicated or too complex, that it can not be run away from.
24. You can’t win. You can’t break even. You can’t even quit the game.
25. In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right … something is wrong.
26. Anything that begins well ends badly. Anything that begins badly ends worse.
27. Once a job is fucked up, anything done to improve it will only make it worse.
28. Doing it the hard way is always easier.
29. Teamwork is essential. It allows you to blame someone else.
30. Everyone has a scheme that will not work. Everyone that does not work has a scheme that does.
31. If you keep your head while everyone is losing theirs, then you don’t understand the problem.
32. Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them.
33. To err is human – to blame it on somebody else is even more human.
35. If you do something which you are sure will meet with everybody’s approval, somebody t like it.
36. The customer who pays the least complains the most.
37. The longer you wait in line, the greater likelihood that you are standing in the wrong line.
38. Anything labeled NEW and/or IMPROVED isn’t.
39. An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
40. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
41. It takes a big man to cry. It takes a bigger man to laugh at him.
42. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.
43. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
44. Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
45. The 50-50-90 Law: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
46. If you’re going through hell, keep going.
47. Nobody really cares or understands what anyone else is doing.
48. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
49. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
50. Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
51. Do not argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
52. A bank is a place that can lend you money, but only if you can prove that you don’t need it.
53. The network evening newscasts start off by saying “Good Evening” but then they proceed to spend the rest of the half hour explaining to us why it isn’t.
54. Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is never putting it in a fruit salad.
55. If you long to teach surfing, don’t move to the desert.
56. Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard’s name.
57. Help someone when they are in trouble, and they will remember you when they’re in trouble again.
58. Alcohol cannot solve any problems. But then again, neither does milk.
59. Health nuts are going to feel stupid one day when they are lying in the hospital dying of nothing.
60. Life is like a cherry pepper. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.
 61. The longer the title, the less important the job.
62. When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
63.It is impossible to make anything foolproof,
because fools are so in genius.
64.A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
65.If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
66.Smile... tomorrow could be even worse.
67. Friends come and go but enemies accumulate.
68. If something goes right, subsequent events will show that it would have been better had it gone wrong.
69. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
70. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can’t stand years later.
71. The things that come to those who wait will be the ones left by the people who got there first.
72. If a problem has multiple solutions, the one you pick will be the most complicated.
73. The best way to get the right answer on the internet is indeed not to ask a question, but rather to post the wrong answer.
74. When you have the perfect comeback to an argument you will remember it hours later.
75. Managers all rise to their level of incompetence.
76. Never make a decision you can get someone else to make.
77. Adding manpower to a project that is behind schedule will delay it further.
78. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
79. The probability of being watched is in direct proportion of the stupidity of your act.
80. The shin-bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
81. Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is the funnier.
82. At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
83. Just when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, the roof caves in.
84. The longer that you wait in line, the greater the likelihood that you are standing in the wrong line.
85. As soon as you find a product that you love, they will stop making it.
86. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
87. Flashlight: A metal tube used to store dead batteries
88. The probability of running into someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you with whom you don't want to bee seen.
89. The older that you get the harder it is to lose weight, bceause by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends...
90. At some time in the life cycle of virtually every organization, its ablitity to succeed inspite of itself runs out...
91. The longer the title, the less important the job.
92. Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.
93. By the time when you really understand your phone, it's probably obselete...
94. A closed mouth gathers no feet.
95."That's a lovely nose ring", said no guy ever to a woman. Ever.
96. Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.
97. Statesmen tell you what is true even though it may be unpopular. Politicians tell you what is popular even though it may be untrue. 

98. Nothing attracts the soup of the day more than wearing that a brand-new shirt. Extra points if it is white.

99. We will find out that efficiency is just a highly developed form of laziness.

100. If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.

101. Never tell anyone at anytime that you have nothing to do.

102. The best defense is to either stay out of range or duck very low. 

103. Whatever the activity, the worse the weather, the more you will be out in it. 

104. In any job, a simple instruction will be worded in the most complicated and incoherent way possible. 

105. If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.

106.  Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.

107. If you can tell the difference between good & bad advice, you don't need advice...

108.  Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

109.  In any organization there is one person who knows what's going on. This person will be the first fired. 





Saturday, June 24, 2023

The Fucker's Back Twice

Stealing with Bev:
1. Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car? At this point, the car sounds like the best option...

2. Who is your favorite author? I don't read books. My HDHD I think was the reason. I love reading on the Inet.

3.  Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? Hawaii. It's warm. I hate the cold.

4. If you could go back in time, what year would you travel ? I think we'd all like to be younger & know what we do now...

5.  What's your favorite zoo animal? Lion. Not even close...

6.  What's the tallest building you've been to the top of? The Pru. Boston 

7. How often do you buy clothes?   As little as possible.

8. What was the last thing you recorded on TV? The New York Yankees. They really suck without Judge, but they are MY team...

9.  What was the last book you read? See question 2.

10. What's your favorite type of foreign food? Asian or Mexican. Depends on the fucking day.

11. What kitchen appliance do you use every day? The refrigerator.

12. How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out? I was in first grade. It was May. I found my bike box in the basement....

13.  What was your favorite subject in school? History/politics

14. What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? Ostrich. Outstanding!

15. What's your favorite family recipe? My mom's anchovies and broccoli. 

I could return. We will see reaction! Bye!

The Old Fuck Returns...

Saturday 9: It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over (1991)



Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Lenny Kravitz sings about all the tears he's cried over this relationship. Scientists theorize that human tears fall into two categories: emotional and irritant. "Emotional tears" are most often shed over physical pain, empathy, compassion, depression, and anger/frustration. Think about the last time you cried. What triggered your tears? I recently re-watched a video tribute to Johnnie Walker who passed in 2018. I miss the big guy.

2) We also cry "irritant tears," which means we well up when a foreign particle gets in our eye. Over-the-counter drops can help. What's the last thing you bought at the drugstore? Was it a medication (OTC or prescription) or something else entirely? Prescription. Not insightful, but neither was the fucking question.

3) TV actresses have played a big part in Lenny Kravitz' life. His mother was Roxie Roker, who played the neighbor Helen on The Jeffersons. His wife (and the inspiration for this song) was Lisa Bonet, who played one of the daughters on The Cosby Show. Their daughter, Zoe Kravitz, appeared in the HBO series Big Little Lies. What TV series do you never tire of, and could watch again and again? At one time M*A*S*H, the NYPD Blue.

4) Thinking of Big Little Lies ... Zoe Kravitz co-starred with Nicole Kidman. Shortly after Kidman divorced Tom Cruise, she dated Lenny Kravitz. Have you ever been curious about a partner's past love? Sure. But never jealous of it.

5) Lenny Kravitz and Today Show weatherman Al Roker are second cousins (their grandfathers were brothers). Do you turn to a TV weatherman for the forecast? Or do you check a website or app? I google that shit. But here it's easy. 7 months sunny & 70, 5 months sunny & 100. No fucking snow.

6) Also a talented photographer, Lenny's work has been displayed at the Leica Gallery in Wetzlar, Germany. What's the most recent photo you took? I was at Senona and took pics with my family.

7) In 1991, when this song was popular, Murray Bicycles were the top seller among younger set. Popularity is fleeting, though. By 2004, the company filed for bankruptcy and no longer produces bicycles. Was your bike a big part of your summer when you were a kid? Fern Park. It was like a day camp. Baseball 8 AM-noon. Mom picked us up for lunch. 1PM pool at Fern Park. We played "Capture the Flag" & kickball afterward. Mom got us at 5. Dave Krum was the councilor. I am lucky now that we are friends on FB.

8) Also in 1991, Gene Roddenberry died. Mr. Roddenberry is best known as the creator of Star Trek. Who's your favorite Star Trek character? Beverly Crusher. Man did I find her hot. Still do. She appearered on "Picard" this season...

9) Random Question: How do you think your high school classmates remember you? As a very funny guy who painted WAY outside the prep schools' lines...

I hope you all are doing great! Life is great here! 




Sunday, February 5, 2023

Sorry & Goodbye

This blog did not work out. I thought I'd chronicle my moving from the northeast to southwest. However, I love this journey, but it's slower than I thought. I'm doing well in the singles group (which is mostly widows) we go out once a week for drinks & dinner, and they drive you! 

Have not good made friends yet, but the group has new people all the time. I met a new guy today who said, "You're the guy who loves the sun! I am. 77 today.I have ended the website, so to reach me it bud9man@gmail.  Thank you, Bev & Gal for the great jobs on the memes!

Bye from AZ!


Saturday, December 31, 2022

Happy 2023!



What song will always remind you of last year?  Doesn't have to be a song released last year. Here Comes the Sun.

What do you wish you would have done more of? Meet people.

What do you wish you would have done less of? Meet people.

What was your favorite new TV program? Movie? Album/Songs? Or if you didn't pick up any new ones, what are you still watching/listening to? Any recommendations? I have not any new TV shows. Are there good ones?

What did you do on your birthday and how old were you? Did you feel differently? I am 71. My son and his family took me out to dinner!

What political or social issue stirred you the most? Kari Lake. What a fucking moron.

Who was the most interesting new person you met? I met my neighbors across the street yesterday. They have a bigger house than I and only stay from now to April. Nice 2nd house! Lots of snow birds here!

What changed at your job? If I get one. you'll be the first.

What changed in your home? Just the entire home.

Describe how a relationship changed. I lost a close friend. And not to death.

Do you think you are still the same person that you were at the beginning of the year?  How so? Nope. I was from CT. I am from AZ.

Summarize the year in three words or less. Bonus points for doing it in one word. Explain. Move to Arizona....

Friday, November 4, 2022

80s in November

Saturday 9: New Attitude (1984)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Patti Labelle sings that she feels good from her hat to her shoes. Do you often wear hats or caps? Only to a baseball game...
2) The lyrics tell us that Patti's worries are few. Is anything particular bothering you as you answer these questions? No, I'm good. I went to the singles' groups' Happy Hour. Nice folks. I'm meeting people, no "friends" yet...
3) The video for this song takes place in a high-end boutique. What's the most recent article of new clothing you bought, and where did you buy it? I bought golf shirts and jeans from Amazon before I moved in May.

4) In 2019, a street in Philadelphia was renamed "Patti LaBelle Way." At the ceremony, she was referred to as "The Godmother of Soul." Do you have godparents? If yes, tell us about them. If I did, I have no idea. I like the question. My brother and I know we had them, but no idea who they were...
5) Patti dropped out of high school during her senior year. When she was in her mid-30s, she went to night school and earned her diploma. Do you have any diplomas or certificates framed and displayed in your home or office? No. Not my style.
6) Patti was once engaged to Otis Williams, founder of the Motown super group The Temptations. Who is your favorite Motown recording artist? (Here is a list.) The Four Tops.
7) A diabetic herself, Patti has volunteered her time to organizations that fight the disease. Do you know anyone currently dealing with diabetes? Yes. She's doing very well.
8) In 1984, when this song was popular, Angela Lansbury premiered in Murder, She Wrote, a show still seen in reruns today. Were you a fan? My mom's favorite show. I used to buy her the books.

9) Random question: What's your secret to a good night's sleep? Medication.


Thursday, August 11, 2022

Slaughterhouse Five

Saturday 9: W.O.L.D. (1973)
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

This song tells the story of a man who has made a career in radio.  How many professions have you worked in? Five major ones, of which radio was one. Hotel, Furniture, Video and Liquor were the others with liquor longest after radio.
2) He describes himself as "45 going on 15." This morning, do you feel older or younger than your years? I spent last night on a first contact phone call. I forgot how bad they can be.

3) He estimates that he's traveled thousands of miles, from town to city, as disc jockey at various stations. Have you ever relocated for a job? Yes. I left Hartford for Boston in 1995 for a radio job at WBCN.

4) This song is written as though he's reached out to an ex. Is there someone from your past who is on your mind this morning? My past is always on my mind. It's unavoidable.

5) Tell us about a radio personality you grew up listening to. Joey Reynolds was primarily on WPOP in Hartford but was on WDRC as well. I met him when he did a guest show on my station 91Q.

6) This week's featured artist, Harry Chapin, was an Oscar nominee. Before he became a musician, he wrote and directed a documentary about boxing called Legendary Champions. When you sit down to watch a movie, would you prefer action, comedy, drama, fantasy, horror, mystery, romance, thriller or documentary? It depends on who I am with...
7) Today Harry Chapin is fondly remembered for his philanthropy. He filled his calendar with benefit concerts that supported local food banks all around the country. How would you like to be remembered? As a good brother/father/grandfather/friend.

8) In 1973, when this song was popular, one of the top-selling toys was a Curious George book packaged with a plush Curious George. Can you recall a favorite book from your childhood? I loved Animal Farm & 1984. And later Kurt Vonnegut
9) Random question: Here's $100. What will you spend it on? Dinner with a beautiful woman. Who I've yet to meet. But I'm working on it...


Saturday, August 6, 2022

Those Were The Days, My Friend


Sunday Stealing: Personal History

1.  What would you like people to know about your mother? For a woman who didn't particularly want children, while flawed, she did a remarkably good job.

2.  What would you like people to know about your father? My dad was my best friend. He had a wicked sense of humor and fun. Before my stupid and ill-fated 3rd marriage, my dad and I went out at least weekly while he sang at piano bars. 

3.  What was your childhood bedroom like? It was paneled. I had a bunch of sports pennants up till high school. 

4.  What was your favorite activity as a child? Playing doctor with the girl next door.

5.  What was high school like for you? I was the ringleader of WTIT which had 5 main guys and another 5 who were more social than pivotal. We had parties all the time. Those were the days, my friend.

6.  Write about your cousins. Nice people. Those I know. 

7.  What was your favorite food as a child? Steak.

8.  What was your most memorable birthday? My 40th. I was  newly single and dating a lot of women. My dad told me to enjoy my 40s cuz they were the best. He was right in that regard. 

9.  What world events were significant to you as a child? JFK's, RFK's and MLK's assignations.

10. What did a typical day look like as a child? Bought the same as now. Sun came up around 6...

11. Write about your grandparents. I only knew one well. My mom's mom was widowed young and raised six kids then raised four grandchildren (my cousins). The best woman.

12. Did you move as a child? Only once when I was 7.

13. Who taught you to drive? My dad.

14. Which job has been your favorite? Morning DJ.

15. What was the best part of your 30s? I was wealthy and raised my kids. Great years! (But I learned far more from the lean years that followed)