Rainbowws & Unicorns

 

 This was taken at The Final Four in Phoenix. With bro Mark & son Ben. UConn won it all again. Great times!

1) In this week's song we learn that this particular girl would rather be spending time with her lover. Instead of answering these 9 questions, what would you rather be doing?Ah, my dear friend, I’d rather be moonwalking on a rainbow while juggling flamingos and reciting Shakespearean sonnets to passing unicorns. You know, the usual Friday afternoon activities. 🌈🦄🔥

2) Lead singer Howard Kaylan was a very good student. First he won a Bank of America Fine Arts Award, then he was the valedictorian of his graduating class, and was awarded a scholarship to UCLA. Tell us about something that distinguished your high school career. Picture this: I was the Supreme Chancellor of the Nonsensical Society. My achievements included organizing the Annual Pillow Fight Championship (feathers flew, dreams soared), inventing a language called “Gibberishian” (it’s all about consonant acrobatics), and winning the prestigious “Most Likely to Accidentally Summon a Llama” award. 🎓🤪

3) Howard Kaylan formed this week's group, The Turtles, with Mark Volman. They met while performing in their high school choir and continued working together for 55 years. Are you still in touch with old friends from high school? Absolutely! We’re like a quirky ensemble cast from a coming-of-age sitcom. There’s Bubbles, the bubblegum artist; Ziggy, the stargazing squirrel; and Captain Noodle, who once tried to sail a kiddie pool across the cafeteria. We still meet up for Marshmallow Mondays and reminisce about our legendary dodgeball battles. 🤗🎈

4) First Daughter Tricia Nixon was a big Turtles fan and brought them to the White House to perform for a private party. They almost didn't go. When the engraved invitation came, tied with ribbon, the boys thought it was an elaborate practical joke. Have you ever successfully pulled off a practical joke? Oh, indeed! I once replaced my friend’s coffee with unicorn tears (they taste like rainbows, by the way). The result? He sprouted glittery wings and serenaded the office printer. Management was baffled. I call it “Operation Caffeine Enchantment.” ☕✨

5) The Turtles' bass player was Chip Douglas. He left the band in 1967 to produce The Monkees. It's Chip that Davy Jones refers to at the beginning of "Daydream Believer" ("What number is this Chip?" "7A!"). What's your favorite Monkees song? Ah, the Monkees—the original boy band with tambourines and psychedelic vibes! My jam is “I’m a Believer”. I sing it in the shower, at traffic lights, and during awkward elevator rides. Bonus points if you can harmonize with the potted plants. 🎶🌿

6) The Turtles broke up in 1970. Pressure from their record label to do more and do it cheaper was just too much of a hassle. But Howard and Mark continued to work together, renaming themselves Flo and Eddie. They sang backup on records by Frank Zappa, Alice Cooper and Bruce Springsteen and on children's TV shows like The Care Bears. Backup work provided less money but more fun. Given the choice, would you rather do a job that paid well that you didn't enjoy, or a job you liked that earned you a smaller paycheck? Listen, I’d rather be the Chief Mischief Officer at the Department of Whimsy. Sure, the pay is in giggles and imaginary cookies, but the office dress code allows for tutus and glitter capes. Plus, I get to file reports on Unicorn Sighting Frequency. 🦄📁

7) In 1967, when this song was popular, the RMS Queen Mary was retired after 31 years of service. Now docked in Long Beach, the ship has been refurbished with state-of-the-art wifi, satellite hookups, and projection screens and is a popular choice for conventions and annual business meetings. When were you most recently on a boat or ship? Picture it: the Queen Mary, now equipped with Wi-Fi, satellite hookups, and projection screens. Sailors are live-tweeting their sea shanties, and the ghostly orchestra plays Spotify playlists. The ship’s motto? “Sail Smart, Binge Netflix.” 🚢📺

8) Also in 1967, Elvis married Priscilla. You don't need last names to know who we're talking about, do you? Can you think of another couple with whom the world is on a first-name basis? Fred. Everybody in town knows him. He's great at Hook-ups for Threesomes.

9) Random question: If your phone were to ring right now, who do you think would be calling? Jill Hennessy. She still calls. Her "I'm leaving my husband soon for you has frankly gotten old at this point. I hope you folks enjoy your week. The first 7 quests were answered by Bing's ChatGPT. Next time I'll try Bard.

Talking With Food

1) The song is about a fellow who is exasperated by men flirting with his girl. Do you have a jealous streak? 

Let's just say, if someone tried to serenade my server with bad pickup lines, their uptime might suddenly become "downtime." But jealousy? Nah, I'm more like an old man Don Juan, spreading love to all.

2) He's blue after a quarrel with Sue. Did you exchange harsh words with anyone recently? 

Let's just say I had a heated debate with my toaster this morning. It kept burning my toast, and I felt personally attacked. But when you live alone, you talk and argue with food.

3) "Paper Doll" was #1 for 12 weeks in 1943-44, sold 11 million copies and remains one of the best-selling singles of all time. Had you heard it before today? 

Oh, yes, I remember "Paper Doll" like it was yesterday. I used to play it on my gramophone while rollerblading through the living room in my finest 1940s attire.

4) As kids, the Mills Brothers worked on their harmonies in front of their father's Piqua, OH, barbershop, much to the delight of passers by. Do you often encounter street musicians in your neighborhood? 

Oh, yes, they're practically my neighbors. In fact, I've considered inviting them over for tea and a jam session, but I'm not sure if they'd appreciate my kazoo solos.

5) The Mills Brothers were a long way from that street corner when, in 1936, they became the first African Americans to perform for the British Royal Family. It's about 4,000 miles from Piqua to London. What's the farthest you've ever been from home? 

London, on my honeymoon. Which one is anybody's guess.

6) In the early 1930s, the Mills Brothers not only performed songs on radio, they sang jingles for Standard Oil and Crisco. What commercial can you recall having seen (or heard) lately? 

This is a week after The Super Bowl. Don't tempt me.

7) In 1943, when "Paper Doll" was popular, WWII was raging and the US Mint began producing steel pennies because copper was needed for ammunition. Do you have any pennies in your pocket or wallet right now?  

 Oh, yes, I have a whole collection of them. I like to pretend I'm a wealthy pirate with a treasure trove of copper doubloons.

 8) Also in 1943, a bottle of Coke was a nickel. When did you most recently have a soft drink? What was it? 

An hour ago. My addiction to Diet Coke is severe.

9) Random question: Have you learned more from your successes, or your failures?

Oh, definitely from my failures. They're like life's way of saying, "Hey, remember that thing you thought you were good at? Well, think again!"