Pay Attention to the Press Clippings

I don't think anybody uses the phrase, "press clippings" anymore, which is rather ironic. I mean that in the sense that we all do so much more than that. It's hard to write about personal stuff, but that's what's going to make this that much more fun. I won't post about nothing. This ain't a diary. But goodbyes are tough. A woman wants another goodbye. I don't want to be rude to her, but we have said goodbye, already. Enough. Yesterday was her birthday. 58th? I think. 

She phoned last night at dinner time. The last such call led to a lovely dinner, but yet another reason "to hang". Honestly, I never heard from her like this when we originally dated. So I did not pick up because unfortunately if I pick I will say yes, to be nice. Again. It ends now. I'll go out of a window, but like most ladies who actually know me, will testify, I often go out the windows. I am very bad at endings. Sometimes on multiple occasions. This will not improve. But it is in my press clippings. I explain it. And the times I try, I fail miserably. Now, how did my third marriage last? A lot of it has to do with what was wrong with me. Then. I am better now. Hence, hello Arizona! Hello, Cubbies' spring training.

Don't NOT Believe the Press Clippings. What I don't understand is, in this case, I've explained it. I find attention as pressure. Am I the only one? I explained this to her the night we met for dinner the first  time.  So Saturday she says, "No pressure, will you come over to my house" (another mistake - I don't want to see your house. Or meet the pets.) "And stay the night". Need I go on? So a goodbye has dragged on two weeks. Not one more word. 

I should have my 80-year-old neighbor talk to her. She gets me. I wish I had met her husband. He passed away since I moved here, but not before I knew his wife. I had met her while he was alive, but not him. I do not want a relationship. It's not because that I am moving. I just want new friends. New places. Men & women process very differently. Even when faced with brute honesty, women can (and have) decided I meant something else. May if I do (whatever) in bed, it'll change. It is not easy being a single old guy. But I will enjoy the initial attention from women in Phoenix. 

The realty is I am not the guy who had twins as girlfriends, but I am not the relationship type. I am WAY too selfish. I recognize that. I am so stressed out about the move. And for no reason. Today I gave an end date to the electric company. I paid off my oil (budgeted for the rest of the year at once (nearly $2K) last month. I am all packed but need more stuffed tossed to the curb. Rugs I won't need. My bedroom & studio in my new home are carpeted. So I have 5 area rugs for 2 areas. I got help on Wednesday for a final go through. I am so bored as well.

Did I mention I hate moving? But at least my mailed can be forwarded directly. That you can do online now for a buck. Now THAT was easy. I am, so, sick of fast food. I know the variety of choices will be plentiful where I'll be. I shoulda learned to cook. Other than breakfast, I sucked. And I've tried.   

 Here (above) we are on Friday.

Here we are in 2013. I think we both look healthier now!

Then there was Bouncing Billy not showing up to the last show. I have no idea as to why. He's explained it and I still do not get it. But he took me out for a nice dinner as a "make good". How does that help? He was on my first show. He should have been on my last. It was so unimportant to him. I'll never understand it. But I'm good with him and it. I think he is angry that I am leaving. 

I think I'll always consider the 50th in 2017 as our swan song. It was Johnnie's last. We made it another 5. But between the pandemic and the fact that it falls apart when I am single. Wives don't like it. I don't get the difference, but it is there nevertheless. Wow, this is a long post about nothing. I'm rusty. I'll try harder. Join me again. Same blog, etc.