Sunday, July 28, 2013

The Ballad of John & Yoko

Sunday Stealing: Massive Alphabet Meme, part one 

The Letter A 
Are you agnostic? Very. My dad, an atheist, once told me an agnostic is someone who won’t commit. I replied, “Atheists are like Catholics. They both think they have all the answers.” After he stopped laughing he said, “That’s pretty good.”
What is your age? 262
What annoys you? Being asked my age.

The Letter B  
Do you like bacon? Yes.
When is your birthday? On the anniversary of the day I was born.

Who is your best friend? I hate this question. Let’s move on. Nothing to see here.

The Letter C
What is your favorite candy? I don’t eat candy. I used to love Heath Bars. Who is your crush? Me lady, me wife.
When was the last time you cried? The night John Lennon was assassinated. “The way things are going, they’re gonna crucify me.” Lennon-McCartney 1968. Twelve years later on a December night after a record session, they did.

The Letter D 
Do you daydream? What a Day for a Daydream.

What is your favorite kind of dog? Whatever kind that my virtual dog Happy is.
What day of the week is it? You ask this on a blog called “Sunday Stealing”?

The Letter E 
How do you like your eggs? Cooked.
Have you ever been in the emergency room? Too many times.
What’s the easiest thing to ever do? Snore.

The Letter F
Have you ever flown in a plane? Yes. 
Do you use fly swatters? No, I catch them with my teeth. It gives them a fighting chance.
Have you ever used a foghorn? I wouldn't know one if it were in my radio studio.

The Letter G
Do you chew gum? No.
Ever tried gazpacho? I’m not looking this up, so I’ll go with an uncertain “no” here.
Are you a giver or taker? We all do both. We just lie to ourselves so we aren’t feeling guilty.

The Letter H
How are you? An all time spectacular meme question. No wonder Tense Teacher stopped blogging.
What’s your height? A tad under 1.822m.
What color is your hair? Just fuck off.

The Letter I
What is your favorite ice-cream? Gongerling.
Have you ever ice-skated? Yes. I was in the Olympics in 1920.
Do you play an instrument? Yes. I was the bassist of Nirvana. I just never got the credit. I’d say more, but my attorneys have advised against it.

The Letter J
What is your favorite jelly bean? Gongerling.
Do you wear jewelry? Only my wedding ring. Before that, I hadn’t worn jewelry in over a decade.
Have you heard a really hilarious joke? A girl decided to ask her mother "how do you get a baby?" The mother goes through all the details and ends with "And that's how you get a baby." The girl thinks for a moment and asks, "If you were to swallow the semen, what would you get then?" Her mother replied, "Jewelry."

The Letter K
Whom do you want to kill? Whom? Really?
Do you want kids? No. Four is enough.
Where did you go to kindergarten? I didn’t. I was raised by wolves.

The Letter L
Are you laid-back? Sometimes.
Do you lie? Everybody lies, It’s okay ‘cuz no one listens.
Do you love anyone? Yes. This meme was written by a fucking kindergarten kid. That’s why he asked that kindergarten question. He thinks we might be in his class.
The Letter M
What is your favorite movie? Notting Hill or Casablanca.
Do you still watch Disney movies? Did you figure out “gongerling” yet?
Do you like mangoes? And on this note we bid adieu. Hope your Sunday is great! My son & I had a great time, even though the Yanks lost 1-0. A pitcher’s duel took over three hours. They gotta fix the time thing.Til next time, Peace & Love.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Still Making No Sense After All These Years

Sunday Stealing: Collapse 

Have you ever clicked on an ad on the side of your screen by accident?: Of course. When those thongs arrived I was shocked.

When was the last time you were disappointed?: Maybe an hour ago. When you get to be a certain age your body betrays you. The eight back and one neck surgeries hasn’t helped much.

Do you like the smell of rain?: Yes. When the rain comes they go and hide their heads, they might as well be dead, when the rain comes”

What was the last thing you took a picture of?: It had to put up Don Julio (premium tequila) posters in two stores and then take a fucking picture and sent it to HQ. What they do with those shots is anybody’s guess.
When you go to McDonald's, what drink do you usually get?: Diet Coke. There should be a McBar so I could a McSmirnoff.

What were you doing today at 2:15 in the afternoon?: When it comes along, I’ll get back to you.

What's the nickname of your home state?: You gotta be shitting me.

What's the worst type of weather in your opinion?: Ones that kill people.

Do you have a Kindle, Nook, iPad or none?: None.

Would you rather read or write?: Read. Which is why my book is going so slow.

When was the last time someone took a picture of you?: Kathy took pics when we saw Mark Farner (lead singer of Grand Funk) on our town green a couple of weeks ago.

Do you own a pair of slippers?: Yes. Didn’t we cover this a few weeks ago?

Name something negative that you hate about yourself: I’d rather talk about slippers, if you get my drift.

Is your house currently hot, cold or just right?: It’s just right because of four air conditioners.

Is there a Dead End road near where you live?: Yes.

Do you roll your eyes often?: I am now.

Growing up, did you see your cousins often?: Some on my mom’s side. I only met my cousins from my dad’s side once.

Where was your first job at?: The Hartford Country Club.

When's your birthday?: In November. Send me a god damn gift!

Is life a party to you?: A laugh a minute…

Who are you tired of seeing in the news a lot? : George Zimmerman. They should have fried his dumb ass. I know that I may be the only white guy who thinks Trevor Martin should not have been home. Johnnie Walker and I fught about this just before the verdict. He actually said to me, “It’s Trevor’s fault for not going straight home” and “Zimmerman didn’t know Martin was black”. I told him to stop watch fucking Fox News. About a minute after he declare that George told police the “he didn’t know what race he was” the anchorman on CNN played the conversation where Zimmerman told police he was following a black kid. Johnnie said, ”Wow. I didn’t know.” He still had no problem with Zimmerman. Some people. I hate it when it’s one of your best friends…

When was the last time you flew a kite?: When my oldest kid was 10. She’s about to turn 39.

How long have you had a blog?: WTIT: The Blog started in February of 2006.

Have you ever had to call and complain about a product you bought?: No, just bad service or some crap that happens at restaurants.

Name something positive you love about yourself: When you’re as great as I am, it’s hard to be humble.

Next weekend I’m going to NY City with my son. We’re taking a train on Friday and seeing my Yanks play. Gal, I don’t know how you and my dad endure The Cubbies. I hate it when my team sucks. If it weren’t for Mariano, this season would hold no interest. I’d rather not seeing A-Rod ever again, which with his new injury could happen. I am really scared that Jeter may be gone. Both are 38 and in baseball terms it is your late 80s. That said, I won’t be here. Not that I’m around a lot, anyway. Peace & love…

Saturday, July 20, 2013

I Shoulda Stuck to "Yes or No"

1) The best-selling Beach Boys album of all time is this two disc greatest hits compilation. Do you have favorite Beach Boys song? “God Only Knows”. This is not a great version, but adding Paul? I had to do it for The Gal.

 2) The original members of the group were the Wilson brothers, their cousin Mike and a friend from the neighborhood. Have you ever worked with a family member? As a kid I worked in some of my dad’s hotels. Between radio years, I owned a motel with him and was GM of another. My brother is president of the company that I presently work for. Although, he’s in Boston and I’m in Western Massachusetts, so it’s not like we run into one another.

3) Originally released in the mid-1970s, Endless Summer was one of the first fast-selling albums sold on TV. Have you ever picked up the phone and purchased anything directly from TV? In the 80s Time-Life released a series of oldies albums with what we’d now call remastered songs. They were fantastic and I’ve still have them. When the world switched to mp3s, most of those albums cuts were better than the ones you’d get off napster. So I recorded them directly to my Sony Vaio computer.

4) The Beach Boys are very popular in Australia. Have you ever been Down Under? Is this a sex question? I thought those stopped when I left Sat-9.

5) Actor John Stamos played bongos on the Beach Boys' hit, "Kokomo." In his younger days, Stamos was Blackie on the daytime drama, General Hospital. Have you ever followed a soap opera? Just the primetime ones. I think I saw every “Dallas” episode. Remember the summer of “Who Shot JR?” Nowadays, it would have leaked. I started watching the new version on TNT. It’s just as stupid, but now with Larry Hagman’s passing, I haven’t a clue if they will survive the ratings.

6) Many Beach Boys songs revolve around the surf. How are you on a surf board? No, never have I tried. I can barely walk on flat ground.

7) Would you prefer summer to be endless? Or do you enjoy the changing seasons? In my perfect world, we’d have a long spring that followed the eight days of winter we got from 12-24 thru 12-30. New Year’s Eve would be the start of a spring that ended May 1st. We’d have summer until the World Series was thru in November. Then after a brief fall, we’d be back at The Eight Days of Winter. What’s that you say? I shoulda just said yes or no?

8) Do your summer 2013 plans include a trip to a waterpark? I’m not sure. My older grandkids are spending a weekend here in August. Kathy and I haven’t completed the agenda.

9) Describe your swimsuit. It’s blue, or to remind you whose blog you are reading: It’s a blue job.

Enjoy your July weekend. We will return. Be there!

Sunday, July 7, 2013

But I Kinda Like The Beatles

Sunday Stealing: The Wackadoo Meme, Part One

The hand signs are from the deaf alphabet. F. U.
1.] What age is your youngest aunt? Living or dead?

2.] Do you miss someone right now? I always miss my kids. The closest lives 2 hours away, the furthest is 3000 miles away.

3.] What can you see North West to you? I thought North West was a fucktardian name.

4.] Do you like bowling? As something I do once a decade, it’s not bad. A couple of years ago Kathy and went with my daughter Heather and my grandkids Lauren and Lindsay.
5.] Can you pronounce Italian words? Và a farti fottere!

6.] Do you prefer black or beige coloured jackets? I am very excited to see how others respond to this! (I’ll know everyone SO much better.)

7.] Do you own a hoodie? Nope. I live in New England. No one but Bill Belichick may wear one.

8.] Do you like roasting marshmallows on a bonfire? What brand?

9.] Do you like cheesy puffs? When I used to snack I did. But it has probably been 20 years since I’ve done them.

10.] What's your name without vowels? I’ve got 50 bucks for anyone who can explain this question’s cosmic significance.

11.] How many layers of clothing are you wearing? It’s 90 degrees in July, so seven. I’m still trying to sweat off my Thanksgiving dinner.

12.] When was the last time you got a take away? What did you have? I don’t know much about hockey.

13.] If you could climb any mountain or range which would you choose? To jump off.

14.] Do you alphabetically arrange anything in your room? What? My LP collection.

15.] Have you ever visited fat-pie [dot] [com]? No. But I've never been to Spain either, but I kinda like the Beatles.

16.] Do you prefer sweet or sour fruits? Move right along here, folks. There’s nothing to see.

17.] Do you like Flo Rida? Which song of his? No. I like Conn Necticut.

18.] How are your dancing skills? I’m a regular John Ravolta.

19.] What is your favorite number? 3. I’m one of three children born three years apart. I was born on the 3rd. I graduated high school on June 3rd. I graduated college on June 3rd. I’ve been married 3 times. My son who is Bernard III was born on May 3rd. Kathy & I therefore got married at 3:33 PM.

20.] Describe your best friend to me? I really don’t have just one best friend. I have at times. Now it’s a toss up between Harvey Wallbanger and Johnnie Walker.

21.] What is your favorite alcoholic drink? Smirnoff. Shaken, not stirred.

22.] Do you do any sports or have you done any sport professionally? The furthest I got was playing high school football.

23.] What is your ringtone? This is SO ‘00s.

24.] Do you like chilli flavoured chips/crisps? This is where Jimmy Hoffa is buried. Oops, sorry. That was Gal’s Saturday 9. This is the Kwizgiver meme.

25.] Do you curl or straighten your hair? You know guys play here, too.

26.] What's the nicest smell of shampoo? What I said on the last question.

27.] What smell turns you on? How about turns you off? I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Turns me off? You can’t handle the truth.

28.] Who's your favorite comedian? Louis Black. No one else is close.

29.] RnB or Reggae? Who the fuck says I have to choose? Oh righ, I did decided to do this meme. I’ll go with R&B. I like reggae, but I love the Tops, Temps, John Legend, Stevie Wonder, The Supremes, Gladys Knight, Martha Reeves, Smokey Robinson. I’m sure I’m leaving someone out. Oh and Cee Lo Green. I’ve seen all this bands but Legend & Green.

Kathy and I went to our town's 4th of July festival last night. We ran into a friend that I was very close to after my first marriage. He was the leader of our single guys club. He always said he hated kids and would never get married. Our group fell apart when he got married and had kids. It was great for me in a lot of ways. He was our leader. Fridays he'd call and tell the eight of us what we were doing all weekend. It was the only group of friends I had that had nothing to do with WTIT and that I didn't lead. We also got to see Mark Farner of Grand Funk. He was terrific with the Grand Funk songs. His solo stuff (fortunately he only played 3) sucked. But before he started his encore of "I'm Your Captain" he went of on gun rights. A regular NRA rant that ended with, "If you don;'t agree with me you are un-American." Kathy's jaw dropped and I said "I wanna hurl". But we stayed for a great rendition of "Closer to Home". We didn't bother with his "meet and greet" because of it. And that’s the way it isn’t. July 7, 2013. That’s all folks.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

I'm Your Captain


Thanks to Diana for recommending the Mamas and the Papas. (You can listen to the song here.)
1) The lyrics include the line, "Love can never be exactly what we want it to be." Are you happy with your love life? Extremely. But the line is only true when you are young and naïve. As you age you realize that no one is going to be perfect. You learn to love someone who is perfect for you.

2) Another lyric is, "Each night before you go to bed, whisper a little prayer for me." Do you say your prayers? I just got out of the hospital. When asked which religion I responded, “None.” So, no praying here.

3) Mama Michelle and Papa John were married in real life. It didn't end well -- not for the couple and not for the band. Do you believe you could work successfully with a romantic partner? No. I believe it’s over exposure.

4) After the band broke up, Michelle tried her hand at acting and eventually became a regular on the nighttime soap, Knott's Landing. Of course, she could live off of her music royalties while she learned her new craft. If money was no object, what career would like to try? If talent was no object, I’d be just a singer in a rock & roll band.

5) There is a famous rumor -- completely false -- that Mama Cass died while eating a ham sandwich. Can you think of another urban legend? Jimmy Hoffa being buried in the old Giants stadium was a good one, no?

6) In the 1960s, every high school girl wanted to wear her hair like Michelle and Cass -- long and straight. Can you recall a fashion trend from your school days? Tight white jeans. Everyone looked liked they sold Good Humors.

7) With the Fourth of July falling on Thursday, are you able to enjoy a looooong four-day holiday weekend? It started oddly, but tonight we are going to see Mark Farner of Grand Funk. Our town has a spectacular 4th celebration that is considered the best in the state. WTIT DJ The Midnight Plowboy is working there, so I hope to chat with him. Johnnie Walker is coming into town next weekend and I want to invite him to sit in on a WTIT session.

8) Many communities have parades to celebrate Independence Day. Have you ever ridden on a float or marched in a parade? When I hosted a morning show at WMAS, I was on the station’ s float in Holyoke (Mass.)’s St Patrick Day Parade. Other than NYC, it;’s the biggest parade on the date.

9) In honor of the Fourth of July, name your favorite Founding Father. John Hancock. That fucker could sign his name very big.

Hope your holiday weekend is going great! Peace, love and apple pie! See you next time...